Violent birthday celebrations are also gendered, says psychologist Pallavi Bhurkay. “Growing up is about becoming a man — more strong, more macho. Friends usually embarrass you, which is a kind of emotional bashing,” she says. “Girls are allowed to cry, while boys are allowed to be angry and aggressive.” The physical bashing in ‘birthday bumps’ is often a way to test the physical and emotional vulnerability of the person, Bhurkay added. “We all have low self-worth; it is especially apparent in teenagers. When they suffer from low self-worth, they feel ‘I have to prove I can take this shit you’re giving me. I will take it at the cost of my pain, because if I say no, I will look like a sissy’,’ ‘ she said, adding the need to tolerate and maintain birthday traditions often stems from boys’ need to prove they are strong and tolerant.